Hamish X and the Hollow Mountain

Swiss cheese? Nope, (at least, I don’t think so) this may be the sequel to Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates (which, I must inform you, I have not read yet (sadly)) but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t stand alone. It’s a very good book (I didn’t know the author was a comedian until I checked the Hamish X website either). With notes from the narrator at the start of each of the three parts (to quote from part two: “If you are not human, put this book down and back away slowly”), footnotes that give you interesting, if not exactly true, facts about things (for instance, there probably wasn’t a city called Pedestria where the people worshipped a giant foot that they said belonged to Zeus), and funny things in the story itself. The King of Switzerland (don’t tell me it’s a republic) is a boy who lives in a hollow mountain (the Hollow Mountain) with thousands of orphans. When he’s sixteen, he must leave the hollow mountain and choose a successor. The current one (the fifty-sixth I think) is King Liam, a very nice boy. Anyway, who are the villains? The terrible, mysterious ODA with it’s Grey Agents, who distribute orphans to clients throughout the world (child labor stuff, terrible), and they’ve got plenty of influence in every government. We meet two of the agents at the start of the book, Mr. Candy and Mr. Sweet (they’re anything but, they’re horrible and their skin is wavy as if it was artificial (in fact, it probably is seeing as if you take off their hats, you’ll see wires and chords coming from the top of their heads, and they’ve got sockets in their foreheads for plugging more chords into)). But back to happier stuff! King Liam has an artificial intelligence he built to take care of all the children: George. And a couple thousand animal automatons to carry out tasks that the children can’t do that well. They’re all controlled by George, and guess what they are? Raccoons. Why? Because King Liam things they’re cute, and also because their paws are almost as clever as human hands (as Parveen put it). I know I might have said it before, but this is one book you seriously have to read, I can’t wait to get my hands on the first book and the third book.

– LCD

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About Adaraschia

I'm an aspiring author and lover of mythology. And wolves and my sister's Apple Cobbler. And horse stuff. And... [signal blocked]
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