Why the chicken crossed the road

If you’ve seen Talladega Nights, then you’ll have heard Ricky Bobby (or “Ricky Booby”) saying that “El Diablo” means fighting chicken. These days it means “the devil” (it’s Spanish). But in the days of humans who never bothered to watch what animals were doing (the only good thing about that is that they didn’t hunt them either), El Diablo did mean fighting chicken. It just so happens that there was one fighting chicken who insisted he was the bravest anywhere. And maybe he was. For, being a big fool as well, when he saw a lion sleeping on the opposite side of a road, he decided to cross it to challenge the lion to a wrestling match. I think you now get just how foolish our feathery friend was. But let’s not side track. He had forgotten to eat peppermint that morning to keep his breath fresh. And this brought him a lot of bad luck. First a car almost hit him, then an empty pop can whacked him upside the head (luckily he had a thick skull so he only lost a couple of feathers). When he finally staggered to the other side of the road, he was afraid of loud noises. Which is very interesting, seeing as he made very loud noises too (usually when he was getting his tail kicked by granny-chicken, who was also a fighter, and enjoyed booting the rear ends of unsuspecting fowls). The lion took one look at him, then roared with laughter. The chicken scuttled back across the road as fast as he could and went straight back home to hide from this terrifying golden creature. The fear spread like a virus and soon all chickens were afraid of loud noises. Humans actually took notice of this and started calling each other a chicken when they were afraid to do something, or yelped when someone yelled in their ear. So you see, chickens gave us a few things: the importance of fresh breath, why you look both ways before crossing the road, use a crosswalk, and don’t be so incredibly foolish that you would go challenge a lion. The end. What’s there to discuss? It’s so obvious.

And so so ridiculous it just might be true. I think I’m going to make that the end of all these so ridiculous they might be true stories. If you’ve got one of those things like “why did the chicken cross the road”, “why did the dinosaurs become extinct”, or “what’s in a bear’s stomach that makes it growl so loud”, just throw them my way and I might or might not give you an answer. Just kidding, I will, but it might take me awhile to finish all the proper research and give you your answer.

– LCD

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About Adaraschia

I'm an aspiring author and lover of mythology. And wolves and my sister's Apple Cobbler. And horse stuff. And... [signal blocked]
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