Captain Hook: The Adventures of a Notorious Youth by J.V. Hart (and Brett Helquist, who might have, or might not have, only done the illustrations). You know, Ch!pz made a song with him in it, even though (to me) it made no sense. And I have to say that I like the Captain Hook in this story. His real name is James Matthew though, but his loyal subjects call him King Jas. Warning, before you go out to read the book, please know that there is a bit of strong language (and that’s before Jas. even sets foot on a ship). But other than that, it’s quite a good book! I know find that I like Captain Hook very much. But I prefer calling him King Jas. He’s very interesting. When he first arrives at Eton he makes an enemy of Arthur L. Darling, and gets a friend (even though he’d told himself he wouldn’t make any friends) named Roger (something) Davies. But Jas. just calls him Jolly Roger, or Jolly R. Which suits him perfectly of course. During the first dinner time, Jas manages to get even farther on the wrong side of Darling, and is going to be beaten the next day, and just because Darling felt angry, Roger is going to be beaten as well. Poor poor Roger, he did start screaming at a point. But the weird thing is, when they came to get James, he had been practicing his fencing, and thinking of ways to get back at them. And when they actually arrived at his door, he had a hat on and smiled at them, saying he heard there was going to be a whipping. Of course, he knew it was his. How confusing.
But when he gets whipped at the “slab” (in the library), he reads the names of his favorite authors and doesn’t make any sound. Very annoying for Darling to say the least, he’d even used the cat-o-nine-tails on James. And then the Collegers were going “Where’s the blood?” over and over again and the Oppidans started wondering too. And then the Collegers started freaking out. Why? Because James was bleeding, but his blood wasn’t red, nor blue, but yellow. And then, weirdly enough, James started laughing. I’m telling you the truth, laughing. But it was more like a cackle (he develops it into something to use for annoying his enemies). Anyway, the Oppidans start worshipping James and pay him to get even one drop of his blood to use against the Collegers. Oh yes, and James was quarantined for awhile to see if he was diseased or not (his yellow blood is why). He wasn’t, just had some weird mutation that made red blood cells or something like that. Oh yeah, and guess what? They put that his blood was the colour of “lemon custard” on the report. Lemon custard was removed from the school menu and replaced with double helpings of strawberry mess.
And that isn’t all that’s weird about James. He is perfectly comfortable with having nine inch long spiders (that are very hairy) on his hand (almost completely covering it). He named the lead one (the leading one of a very poisonous species that paralyzes it’s pray) Electra. And Electra becomes another of his devoted followers. And did I mention that His Majesty King Jas. has forget-me-not blue eyes that occasionally get red dots in them? No, I don’t think I did. Hmm. Ah well……. I think I also forgot to mention that King Jas. has another admirer. Me. I can’t help it! Mr. Hart did a very good job. If asked who my favorite character was, I’d say Pandora. Ananova’s white Arabian horse. Who is just as much trouble as her namesake. But it is kinda predictable that my favorite character would be the horse, seeing as my favorite animals are horses. Electra is likeable too, even though I hate spiders, and would rather not meet one as large and hairy as Electra. Halfway through the book seems as if it could be complete, but it isn’t still. Because of course, King Jas. still has to go sailing for the first time. And he does, upon the Sea Witch. That’s where he meets Mr. Swee (I think that was his name), and a few other interesting characters. But you seriously have to read it to be able to fully enjoy it. Unless a movie contained every little bit the book had in it, leaving nothing out and not fabricating anything, then I’d say that no movie could be ask good as the book. “The end.” as King Jas. would say.