Thora and the Green Sea-Unicorn

This book is hilarious and amazing, the wonderful author is Gillian Johnson. One of the reviews of it said that Thora is a modern Pippi Longstocking (a.k.a. Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Ephraim’s Daughter Longstocking). And when I read that and then thought about the book, I realized that this is true. Thora’s name isn’t half as long, but the way she acts and the things she says are so hilarious and absurd that I’m relatively sure that Thora and Pippilotta, if they had ever met, would have been best friends. I’ll stop myself before I draw this out for a couple hundred words. Thora is a half-mermaid child with scales on her legs and purple feet. But even more interesting is the fact that she has a blowhole on top of her head. Who knows how that is possible, but however it is, it’s amazing. Just like Thora. Her mother Halla is a mermaid, her father Thor disappeared at a point, and her “guardian angle” Mr. Walters sails with them on the Loki. The other two who sail with them are Cosmo, a peacock, and Shirley, a sea-unicorn who is a brilliant shade of green.

They arrive in London. And almost immediately, Thora meets Pamela P. Poutine, a fat mermaid who lives in an appartment on land, tells herself she’s a famous actor (she isn’t), and steals precious sea creatures for Mr. Oto. The first time she tries to steal Shirley, Thora notices but doesn’t realize that was what was happening. Pamela tricks her into believing that she was playing a game with Shirley. Of course, Thora invites her to tea the next day. Pamela accepts, and leaves. Halla had to go to get kelp for a remedy, so when Thora goes out later to apologize for Shirley being rude to Pamela, and Mr. Walter goes out for a walk with Cosmo, Ms. Fishlock, Pamela’s accomplice, goes to steal Shirley. Unfortunately, she misinterprets Pamela’s instructions of “steal the jug”. She thinks that Pamela said “steal the tug”. Of course, Ms. Fishlock later understands that the Loki is not a tug. She crashes the boat against a bridge and barely manages to escape. Shirley saved her life.

Of course, Thora, Halla, Mr. Walter, and Cosmo don’t know about this. All they know is that the Loki is gone, and then they discover later that it crashed, and will take months to repair. At the same time, Mr. Walter’s old friend Lord Bidet (bidet means “toilet” in French as Thora learned) has died, leaving his son in charge of their house in Snug. They are invited there by the new lord, and they go there. The man’s daughter is named Louella, and she is a nerd, and is rather hostile when they first arrive. She wants to be an aquanaut (look that up on Wikipedia if you don’t know what it means). Her hostility is probably thanks to Blandina and Mr. le Drone, who want to make olympic sized croquet fields on the estate.

Eventually Louella finds out about Thora being a half-mermaid, and about Halla being a mermaid. Nerds and half-mermaids are a powerful team. So when Louella wanted to make the place into a water park instead of a croquet paradise, Thora helped her make it possible. Thora and Halla that is. Blandina is a scoundrel, who helped Mr. le Drone. And she stole a tiara and valuable stamp collection when she fled. The tiara was going to be Louella’s, and she was only upset about it’s being lost because it was really valuable.

This book is hilarious, and you’ll love it. 😀 Especially Thora’s projection ring (which plays old movies for her). 🙂 PLEASE read it, honestly, I think you’ll enjoy it. ^_^

– LCD

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About Adaraschia

I'm an aspiring author and lover of mythology. And wolves and my sister's Apple Cobbler. And horse stuff. And... [signal blocked]
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2 Responses to Thora and the Green Sea-Unicorn

  1. MissKittyInTheCity says:

    This is such a great review, it makes me want to run out and buy it! I really love the names and twists. I am surprised to not have heard of this author. It reminds me of some great older styles like Roald Dahl, etc. Books that I read back in the dinosaur ages when I was little. You are doing such a great job and still giving Oprah’s book club a run for her money. 🙂

    • LCD says:

      Thank you. 😉 I make ME want to run out and buy it. XD Yes, some of the things do seem like Roald Dahl would have written them, but not all, which is what makes it nice and original. ^_^ Oh come on, you were NOT alive in the time of the dinosaurs. 😛 And thank you once again. 😉 I don’t know how true that is, seeing as I’ve never looked at Oprah’s book club, but thank you all the same.

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