The Wild

“Yes, you are cuddly. But can you float?”

This is what Nigel the koala says around the end of the movie before throwing a toy koala overboard. Of course, when he said “but can you float”, he had an evil grin on his face. That moment was one of my favorites in the movie. Skipping back to the start now… our main character (Samson the lion) is telling his son Ryan a story about the wild, in which (using his roar) he sent a huge heard of wildebeest flying, and had a huge one face him down.

He’s trying to help Ryan find his roar, mainly seeing as Ryan sounds like an angry cat whenever he tries to do it. Ryan gets upset and goes to “sulk up his tree”, and Samson starts talking to his friend Benny the squirrel, who “liberated” a necklace from a little kid. XD First thing you should know about Benny (including the obvious). A) He’s a squirrel. B) He’s got a crush on someone named Bridget.

Now, the thing about Bridget and Benny is that it’s sort of a case of opposite sizes attracting, not opposite personalities. Why do I say this? Because Bridget is a giraffe. She towers over poor Benny! Another member of the group is Larry the anaconda, he’s not that bright, but I like him. He’s a nice character. Anyway, as soon as the people have left the zoo, all the animals rule. So they go to see a game of turtle curling (Samson’s team (Bridget, himself, Benny, Larry, and Nigel) against the penguin’s team), and Ryan promises to come, but two of his friends (who are absolute whackos) convince him to go start a stampede with the gazelles.

This actually causes Sam’s team to lose, and he lectures Ryan about how he put everyone in danger by starting the stampede, Ryan runs away from him after saying he wishes he wasn’t his father. Later, he hides in one of the “green boxes”, and gets taken away. Of course, the zoo people don’t know he’s in there. So Samson and the others consult some Indian pigeons (no, they’re not from India, they just sound…. Indian. Honestly, if you don’t believe me, watch it yourself and see) and find out where the green boxes go. To the tall lady with the spiky head apparently. If you haven’t guessed who this is already, let’s think…… does this ring any bells?

If you guessed “Statue of Liberty”, then you’re right! If not then geez! Why did you continue reading before you guessed?! Well it’s too late now, so I guess we’d better continue. So they hide out in a garbage truck and are taken into the city (one of them accidentally knocks Benny off the back of the truck). When they arrive, they get chased by a rabid poodle and two rottweilers (at least, I think they were rottweilers). They manage to escape to the sewers, where they meet two crocodiles with odd senses of humor, I liked them, they were funny. ^_^

So they don’t get to the docks fast enough to catch Ryan, but (unwittingly) they had boarded a tug boat, so they scared the human off and after a bit of trial and error, figured out how to steer. By trial and error, I mean that they almost crashed into a huge ship, and then nearly crashed into the ship Ryan was on. Benny had hitched a ride with some Canadian geese, and crashes into the back of Bridget’s head. Having lost sight of the ship Ryan is on, Benny’s arrival on the geese had a few good things. First off, it reunited Benny with his friends, secondly, it meant that he’d seen which direction Ryan was going in.

And so they went to Africa, after Nigel (in a nearly delirious state) had almost threatened mutiny if they didn’t get ice cream soon, they crashed into the land and he fell overboard into the sand. The first thing he says is something along the lines of “hey! I’m a starfish!” XD The animals are all being evacuated because there’s a volcano about to erupt. Ryan runs off and Sam runs after him (it’s strange that Ryan didn’t hear Sam yelling his name, not too far away) with the others on his heels.

Their little trip through the jungle reveals that Sam has never lived in the wild, he was a circus lion, then a zoo lion. The others walk off, with Benny trying to convince them to come back (he knew about the secret all along). While he talks, Sam goes off on his own. Meanwhile, Ryan almost gets squashed to death by the butt of a really really weird hippo who’s supposedly protecting her baby. o.o That was the weirdest part of the movie by far….. other than the wildebeest’s leader, who I’m convinced is psychotic. Honestly.

Ryan climbs a tree after awhile, and two vultures see him. They go to report to Kazar, the leader of the wildebeest. Oh, I forgot to mention that while this happened, Nigel got kidnapped by the wildebeest (Kazar believes he’s the great “Him” who will teach them how to climb to the top of the food chain, this is thanks to one of those freaking koala dolls that “saved” Kazar from three young lionesses when he was younger), so did Bridget and Larry. Benny was mistaken for a ball of dung by a couple of dung beetles who might be Swedish, and Ryan got attacked by the vultures. Sam heard him yelling and ran over, roaring, and got rid of the vultures.

Soon after that, they had to run from the wildebeest, and Ryan learned Sam’s secret. Not too long after THAT, the wildebeest found them and caught Ryan, while knocking the tree Sam was clinging to off a cliff. So he was taken to the volcano, and Benny found Sam and thought he was dead. In a scene I don’t feel like explaining (because if I did, I’d want to quote a couple things, and I can’t remember any quotes from that scene), Benny gets Sam to get up and they go off to find Ryan, with weird coloured signs pointing them in the right direction.

They assume it’s Sam’s instincts (which is just plain silly), but they turn out to be chameleon secret agents (hmm… that seems a little less silly now.) One of them is all hush hush about their reasons for helping, and about their colour formations, but the other one is a loudmouth and tells them about the plans (before being whacked), then shows quite a few different colour formations.

So that’s all I’ll say, or I’ll give away everything. But thanks to the part at the start of this post, you do know that the doll that saved Kazar gets tossed into water by Nigel. I hope you enjoy the movie, because it is quite funny. 😛 Even though it does have rather strange characters like Kazar….. O.o

– LCD

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About Adaraschia

I'm an aspiring author and lover of mythology. And wolves and my sister's Apple Cobbler. And horse stuff. And... [signal blocked]
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3 Responses to The Wild

  1. “We will fight them, with peaches!” XD

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