Insert uncreative post title here

I could have thought up a creative one, but at the moment, my creative juices are being directed into a first draft related milkshake, if you don’t mind. 😛 *checks the last time she posted* HOILY MOILY IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME!!!!!!!!! But Dragon’s posts from her roadtrip should be amusing you, because they are amusing me. 😛 They don’t amuse you? What planet are you from?!

Thanks to a blogger (sadly, I forget who. But thanks, whoever you are!), I discovered this other awesome blog: Merit Badger. So, I’ve looked through all her badges, and chosen those that I think I’ve earned, and I’ll be giving the excuses reasons for why I think I’ve earned them. Of course, some of the reasons border on cheating, just because the badge is pretty, but I don’t fully cheat. 😉 So don’t worry, you’re safe. So let’s start! WOOHOO!

I earned the right to wear this one, fair and square. FAIR AND SQUARE I TELL YOU! *shakes readers by the shoulders* Ahem. The reason I earned this one, the merit badge that says you can wear merit badges, is because I read the image use page on the Merit Badger blog.

I have a couple of story ideas that are nagging me, I’m exercising some not-so-great self control on them, in regards to not writing them until I finish the first draft of the book I’m working on with Dragon at least. All those ideas are being fattened and moved to larger jars inside my mind as we speak. 😉 Or is it “as you read”?

This one is obvious. Right? It should be if I understood the requirements. If I did, I’ve earned this one because I’ve got a good WPM speed (was that last statement redundant? My brain is confusing me right now).

Writing is sometimes like a form of therapy, so I’ve definately nailed this one. *notices weird looks* What? Writing is like a form of therapy! If you’re not worrying about how the world is going to recieve your insanity brilliance. No wait, it is insanity. But I’m not going to uncross that other one. Now that’s madness. ^_^ Or is it Sparta? O.o

Let’s face it, we’ve ALL got stories that are in that sorry, desolate land. Even me, a TYRANT GENIUS! Okay I think I’ll stop crossing things out now. It’s no use denying the truth is it?

I deserve this one simply because I passed that milestone. ^_^

Same as previous.

Same.

I’m in there. I’m battling the hellish monster that is writer’s block in my attempt to get seventy-five thousand words. This attempt will probably fail. Oh well. ^_^

I have this one because I tend to lend my books to my friends, and then force new ones on them when they haven’t finished with the first batch.

Butt In Chair, Hands on Keyboard: Yeaaaaaaah……. I think I’ve earned this one through my dedication to my blog the hours I have spent typing up my story. Neglect? How can you……? I mean…… Neglect? What is the meaning of this strange word?

I refuse to say anything about how I earned this one, except that it had to do with dialogue.

*cough* I admit to cheating a little with this one. I showed it to Dragon and she loves it, and pushes me to finish it, so I’d say she’s my first fan. If I didn’t consider (wait for it…. wait for it…) myself the first fan. SEE?! I CHEAT!

Oh my gosh! I know about those! I’ve read about them in books and you only see them in zoos nowadays right? I didn’t get my facts wrong right?

If I understood correctly, I earned this by naming innanimate objects. Two good examples would be my snake ring, Alphonso, and my green camera, Apple.

Must this one really be explained (in the writing stories area of my life)? It’s patience for heaven’s sake!

This is the “At least my Mom likes me” badge. I haven’t been rejected yet (I haven’t even finished my first draft and claimed the badge for doing so!), but I do sometimes need to be reminded that I have to be grateful to those who never would. Does that count?

Issa pretty unicorn! *notices readers* Ahem. I lay claim to the unbridled optimism badge, because I am sometimes way too excited about my stories, and take over conversations so I can talk about them. Uh….. this seems to annoy people. Maybe I shouldn’t do it…….

Is this badge trying to tell me something about not dominating conversations with talk about my stories? This is the “brilliant idea” badge after all. I claim it because I usually jump off whatever story I’m working on to type up at least a paragraph of a new story idea when it hits me.

And that brings us to the dreaded, horrifying, blood-sucking rampage that is….. WRITER’S BLOCK! Okay okay, maybe Edward Cullen isn’t trying to bring writer’s block to me at the moment. But we never know about the times we’re not looking. And what if it’s not Edward? What if all the Cullens are against me? Carlisle and Esme! I trusted you! D: But back to topic…… who hasn’t been down that road of writer’s block? Or up that alley with the dead end, or in that shark cage with the broken winch, or in the magic box of that magician who has the knife stuck in the wood directly above your trembling body? Or….. I think I’ll zip my mouth shut before I start sounding any weirder. *locks mouth shut and throws key into the hands of a dark elf* Uh oh………..

Let’s wipe the slate clean. No, seriously. I promise it doesn’t want to kill you or your creativity. It doesn’t want to kill ur grammar @ all…. I prms. This badge is for conquering the blank page. It doesn’t remain blank at all! No! It becomes covered in oh so glorious words! Like this! 😀

See? We are all obviously artists! I just hope you didn’t take a sharpie to your screen to fix the blank page. It might be hard to wash off…..

Flow. The beautiful state when the story just keeps on moving so smoothly that it tastes like chocolate……… um…… I mean, it goes so smoothly that it looks like a milk chocolate river. :3 You must read the post this was in. I think that anyone who can start a story as easily as I can (this is not bragging) would easily earn this badge. Continuing through the middle and finishing the story is a completely different matter…

Oh I totally own this badge. Okay maybe not totally, but I have totally earned it! ^_^ All those nights spent reading under the covers were worth it! 😀 Praise the book light and the iBook store! 😀

I admit, I like the smell of books. :3 And sometimes, they smell of coffee.

I feel I deserve the bookshelf overflow badge simply because I have to stack my books on top of each other. It’s not an out of the shelf problem yet, but it’s getting pretty darn close!

I believe that I deserve this badge. It might have even been made for me (just kidding, it most certainly was not. Maybe.) When someone asks me about good books they should try, I really can’t seem to shut up, unless I’ve got other things on my mind. When someone asks me if I’ve read any good books recently, I’ve got about ten ‘on hand’. And then there’s the warehouse which is filling up like a big box of doom……..

While we’re NOT talking about vampires, let’s get to my vampire badge! Yes, it’s pretty, and do I see blood on it……? I do? AWESOME HORRIFYING! Read the post it was on. 😛

I so obviously get the summer reading badge, because I read a lot at ANY time of year. So of course I completely fail at* pwn summer reading!

You know what this is right? It’s envy. The green eyed monster of absolute bloomin’ doom! And I have one. Sweet? You know how sometimes you feel so happy for those people who got published, but at the same time you wish it was you and your little brainchild, or you wish you’d written all of an author’s books? Yeaaaaaaahhh………… we love envy, we do.

I have no great love for spiders. They creep me out. Now that that’s said…… what were we discussing? The internet? Thank you voice-in-my-head. The reason I haven’t been blogging for awhile (being content to just read Dragon’s hilarious posts about her road trip) is because A) I’ve had other things to do. You know, that thing you thought was fictional but actually wasn’t? Real life? B) I’ve been trying to figure out the ending for my book. I’ve got my evil evil villain (who might not be so evil after all), I’ve got my hero-ess(?), and she’s got friends who are chained to a cage which has an incredibly powerful being in it (Dragon came up with the three incredibly powerful beings we use in the book, and they’re just awesome. :P) And the villain has created a cliche battlefield because he felt like having one, seeing as our heroine insulted him. Good stuff. But the web would impede my progress. Should I……. should I cut the remaining strings to SANITY?! Namely, e-mail and my RSS feed. And my YouTube subscriptions. And my games that require wi-fi. But I’ve given up internet surfing (mostly), so I feel that I’ve earned enough of this badge to post it. 😀

I deserve this because of those times where I actually write good dialogue. 😀 Example: “You finally said whatchamacallit! You owe me Mars.” I think it’s good dialogue. ^_^

Blueprint? What the hell is that?! No no no, I must write out the story that is in my head right now, at once, immediately! To heck with blueprints! Let them burn! All I need is my pants with wings, levitation powers, and a laptop. I’ll survive the destruction of that evil city of blueprints! I’m joking, I don’t really think blueprints are evil. They’re just not really my thing. 🙂

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much.” Listen old timer, you’re the very definition of ancient. Those “tools of sorcery” you’re about to toss into the fire are what hold my precious story on them! Don’t you dare damage them. Someone took a jackhammer to my computer so it will be awhile before I can put it on another machine. Until then, I suppose I’ll have to Skype updates to Dragon and hope she saves them on her computer so that she can send them to me when my computer is repaired. Now hand over those floppy disks or this lady is going to start protesting your head off.

You’ve seen my lists of books borrowed from the library, or read my posts about which books I’m reading at the same time by alternating every few chapters (you have read them right?) I will start riots if someone tries to take this badge! It’s mine, not yours! Keep your hands off it, it might tear!

I will wear this badge with pride, because it’s cute. But also because it reminds me of the stories I had my Mom write out for little me. If you can guess who “Draino Maltoy” is, you get cyber cookies. 😉

And that’s it! I’M DONE!!!!!!!!!! Guess what people? I spent TIME on this post! TIME I TELL YOU! And by that, I mean that I usually take ten minutes tops to write a blog post for you guys (unless it’s like a review or something…….), but this time, I spent TWO HOURS writing it, dealing with some technical difficulties, and uploading images so I could get this to YOU. You’d better appreciate it. So, 36 badges and excuses for why I deserve them. If this doesn’t make you appreciate my dedication to my blog, I don’t know what will.

Please note: I have recently discovered a way to amuse myself while writing posts, crossing out words. Yessssssss………….. I will conquer the blogosphere with this new discovery! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay I think what sanity I had left just went on vacation. And there will be a page under my pages that will be dedicated to these badges, and excuses for why I deserve them. So basically, this whole post is going to be going on a page, and will be added to as I earn more badges. ^_^

*I really must stop making truthful statements errors when I’m writing my excuses. No one will believe me if this keeps up!

– LCD